You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the day after is always just damage control
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
