im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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