My Higher Power is John Stamos
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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