His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
