Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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