I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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