I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize