Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
