Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
