It's Friday. Sex?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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