matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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