found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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