He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
