I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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