i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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