Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
