Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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