Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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