Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize