In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
