My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize