i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
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Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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