The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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