Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
