You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
