I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
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For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
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I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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