Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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