Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
