remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize