well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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