He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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