i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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