If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your topless pictures make me question reality
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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