Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
