I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
