I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
