how hairy? two words: wookie tits
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
