I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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