Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
