dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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