once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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