Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
