That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize