Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize