Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
