She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
