so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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