Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
