nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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