all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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