He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
