I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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