I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
