i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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