sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
