If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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