the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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