I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
