??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
