I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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