is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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