Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize